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GM Crop Scare In Essex Village
Villagers in the small hamlet of Lower Tidbury have become alarmed at the incidence of morphing in youngsters attending the local junior school recently. Headmaster Richard Dunwoody says that soon after experimental crops were grown in nearby fields, children complained of feeling light-headed. However, local farmer Brian Cabbage insists that there's nothing sinister about the crops he grows, and the 3m electric fence, tripwires and floodlights are simply there to scare the crows.
The children are taking the whole incident in their stride, having been signed up en masse for the new Steven Spielberg sci-fi movie at a reputed £0.5m per child.
Mandy Burrows, mother of affected child Hamish and speaking from their brand new 6 bedroom mansion, confessed that although it was initially a cause for concern, in the event everything seemed to have worked out fine. In fact, with Hamish having the ability to glow in the dark it meant that electric bills had been halved.
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