Humor......or humour

Rather than sit here twiddling my thumbs waiting for contributions to come flooding in, here's a few bits and pieces which I find mildly amusing..........

How many evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one......but that light bulb has really got to want to change.

10 reasons why I dont wash

1) I was made to wash as a child.
2) People who wash are hypocrites - they think they're so much cleaner than everyone else.
3) There are too many different types of soap - how do I know which one's right for me?
4) I used to wash, but I got bored..... so I stopped.
5) I do wash on secial occasions.
6) My friends don't wash.
7) I'm still young. When I get a bit older and dirtier, I might reconsider my decision.
8) To be honest, I don't have the time.
9) The bathroom's always cold and draughty.
10) Those folk who make soap are only after your money.

A burgler broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables and, but justas he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange disembodied voice came echoing from the dark saying 'Jesus is watching you!'
Well, the poor thief nearly jumped out of his skin. He froze for a while until, hearing nothing else he decided to carry on his night's work.
There was a lovely stereo in the corner of the room. He bent down to unplug it when the voice broke the silence again. 'Jesus is watching you!'
Shaking with fear, the burgler shone his torch round the room, until it came to rest on a parrot's cage.
The burgler stormed over to the parrot and hissed 'Did you say that?'
'Yes,' said the parrot. 'I was trying to warn you.'
'Warn me!' laughed the burgler. 'Who do you think you are, eh?'
'Moses,' replied the parrot.
'Moses!' What stupid person would name a parrot 'Moses''?
The parrot sighed. 'The same person that named the Rottweiler 'Jesus'!'

Cheer up! Tomorrow will be different.......Not better, just different!

Seen on a bumper...... 'I try to take one day at a time, but just lately several days have attacked me all at once!